mirrored-words

2006-12-12T23:15:00.000+08:00

against the raging windswith shifting shadowsand outstretched handshere, take mine;feet in the rain.to thank God for everything and nothing at all.if i could and i wouldi'll go wherever you will go.

2006-11-16T00:03:00.000+08:00

God grant me grace to forgive, especially my cell.God keep me alive.God the estranged being spelt Dog backwards.

2006-10-22T18:15:00.000+08:00

i am furious with my cell.but that's also where forgiveness and grace comes in.that in this world Man has rejected mejudged me for who I am, and for who I am not.that when I grief I would want someone there as well.don't do this, please.

2006-09-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

dare you to move.i looked through my parents' old photos, where they were surrounded by company, by friends, by loved ones. with carefree smiles on their faces. and i cried. i cried for their sacrifice, for their love, for their courage to live their lives for others. i cried looking through my old photos and thinking of my childhood days; of the things i never told the people i really loved and

2006-09-16T10:49:00.000+08:00

200906i hide so no one would seethat i died crying in my dreams.i am tired.how do i live?i'm taking one step at a time.please forgive me.#i feel like an alcoholic/crack addict. and cell is like an AA group, where you turn up every week. i live not with a purpose, but by the number of days i am alive, by the number of church meetings i turn up for. unlike an alcoholic, i don't have a 90 day wall

2006-09-06T16:44:00.000+08:00

#don't even try.while i've been doing this all this while i never actually realise how bad it feels to be the unwanted one; to be chosen last; to be left out.inside outoutside into see the scarlet chambercaved ini just read c___'s testimony, which was cool. i'm trying really, freaking hard, trust me. actually i don't know. talk about contradictions. stop it, do you hear? apparently not.i am THIS

2006-08-30T00:34:00.000+08:00

#it is on days like this that i feel so terribly alone. it's a solitude that is beautiful and yet makes your heart grow cold. that all you want to do is curl up and cry yourself to sleep.the saddest reality, isn't of hate, really. it is of indifference; of broken friendships; of trust gone stale. and i pray that you'll never have to experience that. and someday, i pray for enough courage to

2006-08-28T17:12:00.000+08:00

c is for the commandments:1) i'm not depressed, really. read carefully and you'll realise that.2) i know you can't do the latter because my posts reek of juvenilia.3) there is a reason for stuff to be classed in the archive/older posts.4) c'est lebensraum.5) have a nice day."sometimes, i lie about the time in the morning so that she'll lie next to me for a while longer.""the day i stopped

2006-08-26T21:33:00.000+08:00

i, i, iit's always i, me, you, him, hernever us, never we, never theyShe's fading awayAway from this worldDrifting like a featherShe's not like the other girlsShe lives in the cloudsAnd talks to the birdsHopeless little oneShe's not like the other girls I knowNo more shame, she has felt too much pain, in her lifeIn her mind she's repeating the wordsAll the love you put out will return to youi'm a

2006-08-14T19:09:00.000+08:00

the need to blog =)i hope that someday, i'll be real. as real as tomorrow and the pouring rain. i guess this is what's known as The Identity Crisis. i've changed so much over the past year that it amazes me. but it begs the question, who am i? i was never really "real" and truly "genuine" in the past, but now i'm trying, REALly. haha. to at least be honest with myself and others, and with God.

2006-08-09T20:28:00.000+08:00

still you make time for mei can't understand.no, i don't. all that you do, all that you've done. regardless of whether it's what i desire.sucks to you. how could you?on a different note, i think i'm beginning to love my cell. cool huh? <3

2006-07-09T10:46:00.000+08:00

you care too much that you can't care any longer, cry so much that no tears would flow. i no longer want a new start, i just want all that i could have had back. what that could have been mine. this is when the believer doubts, and the faithful backslides.i'm dying. to leave to wither in an enclosure no man would pass; as melodious as cello notes and more serene than the eye of the storm.

2006-04-28T23:03:00.000+08:00

I HATE YOU, GOD.

2006-04-03T19:12:00.000+08:00

Blown kissesa hand slides behindto say what are you looking atthe lines and spots on their facesfade into the tan seathe blue checkered prints of youththe green pastures of lifethe eyes, bothrunning over the same linerunning over the same linethat bright April sunday that never was.i lovelovelove this poem ;D amazing where your sources of inspiration can be (the library!). did i ever tell you how

2006-03-14T12:49:00.000+08:00

WHEEL GET THERE 06!twelve rocks ;D we've got wheelpower!i decided, that bitching = bad karma, and therefore i shall refrain from doing so. considering that if you want others not to judge you at surface level, then dont do so yourself! ;D remember that kylie!

2006-03-11T08:35:00.000+08:00

#this is when you start anew, when you pick up the pieces of your life.for this, i'm glad debates has ended. yes, there is the overwhelming sense of loss and emptiness, the broken dreams and the lost hopes of things i gave up for debates.but it's over. i wonder if hammering in that reality would help me accept it. just like how pretending can change into reality.thank you, to those who cared. to

2006-03-07T16:44:00.000+08:00

make or breakyou know. sometimes i wonder if because _____ is a missionary school, and therefore God is more inclined to answer their prayers.#what's worst, is at the end of the day, you realise that you've been holding onto something so over-hyped; something which amounts to nothing in the end. that you dont know if this life choice and dedication you've made was a gamble lost. all the things

2006-02-25T23:20:00.000+08:00

#1jgs round 2.thank you Lord, for showing Your hand, for letting us win.thank you team, jnrs, david and mr toh.for believing, for the laughter, for the friendships.thank you mich, princess and those who remembered.#2it has been a long&trying day, no less.that i dont expect anyone to understand, really.that i can only pray, that such hurts and struggles will be cleansed away like the tears that

2006-02-23T18:45:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling overwhelmed now. funny how we expect things out of people huh? to you: i dont wanna ever talk to you anymore. i'm sorry things turned out this way.on a different note, a nice big thank you for the vday things, the bday stuff, the post-bday thingums and the to-come stuff ((: to mich wanting queen shuning nicola jacq yijun princess yuhui jiakang sharyn pok jolyn gen xinning michy rachay

2006-02-16T19:34:00.000+08:00

on the brink of 16

2006-02-11T13:11:00.000+08:00

it's enough to say we lost, and nothing more.strangely, i dont feel that upset/annoyed after losing. i guess it's just the knowledge that we did do our best, that it's God's will. you know, at some point in time, debates was my everything, and yes it did change my everything and help shape the way i am today, but yea. yesterday just brought to light a realisation that there are things more

2006-02-09T21:54:00.000+08:00

juliagabriels06100206

2006-02-05T11:46:00.000+08:00

i realise that everytime the world seems to be spinning right something dreadful would happen. clari: i'm not angsty, neither is this an angsty post but it's just an avenue to voice out my thoughts.FINE, i am an envious person. so? fine, i get wrenched up seeing how some people are so close/on such intimate terms. fine, i am dissatisfied. yet, i cant blame them really. it's just that they have

2006-02-04T12:15:00.000+08:00

i refuse to get an lj.james blunt is love! his songs just scream beauty and love and pureness!i love you to bits james!had cell yesterday.did have some crazyninnypoop idea of going to shop before that but after much thoughts, yes no materialistic-ness. still, that's why girls are girls! cell was good, though it wasnt a very powerful encounter with God for me. as in, i guess the topic was relevant

2006-01-31T21:19:00.000+08:00

it's just this void waiting to be filled.my blog layout is majorly screwed up not that i intend to fix it soon. all the html cheese's all gone and nibbled up.gah school's starting tomorrow and i hate school but that was a redundant statement. still looking for things to do (cip-related!) or ideally church/God related. sighsigh. seek and you will find?i really really want to just spend this

2006-01-18T18:20:00.000+08:00

it's all deja vu.and yes things are beginning to feel like last year too.no.this cant be happening.it's the same familiar senseof emptiness,of incompletion.and up we'll goin white light i dont think sorob this young heart.

2006-01-06T18:45:00.000+08:00

would it be too foolish to hope,would you like me too?

2005-12-30T21:49:00.000+08:00

maybe 2005 was bad,imperfectbut whatever it is, it ended well (:that when i lost my closest friends,i gained friendships i'll treasurethat while things didnt turn out the way they arethey were blessings in disguise.i want to believe that 06 will be better.no wait.it WILL be better, in His will.“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Ps 30:5

2005-12-19T10:03:00.000+08:00

it's the end of the year.yes i've started wellmessed it all up throughouttried to salvage things towards the endall the same,i've finished this Race well.hey, at least i'm back with God.what more can i ask for?to leo/manda: thanks for being such good pals with me. hope that i've told you all that i meant to. stay in touchto mich: thanks for everything (: love ya lots!to rach: llama! thanks for

2005-12-13T14:34:00.000+08:00

Debates made me grow up.really.and although it has given me more insecurities/worried than i've bargained for,it has also given me the friendships, lessons and values i would never forget.having said that, still.debates isnt everything (:DA camp didnt run as well as i expected but i suppose that was 'coz erm.i was in a foul mood! darn.not that i'm over everything though.on soulmates."the reason

2005-12-09T21:52:00.000+08:00

it hurts.yes it doesself pity?maybe.but it hurts so bad.and it shattered the night intoa m i l l i o npiecesthe lack of ________.not being in depjnr.not being there.i dont wanna be alone.

2005-11-26T15:32:00.000+08:00

for some unknown, unexplainable reasoneverything feels fucked up.

2005-11-19T21:54:00.000+08:00

my continued post, as promised.ISPCAN conference.ooooh baby! it rocked!DEP rocks and ISPCAN rocks and the kino vouchers rock!it was a really formal event, which me the silly twit wore jeans to XPthe debate was cool =) it was like my first time debating on a stage to a (relatively) large audience, considering that the rest of them have done so before! HMPH. haha. but it was a good experience. at

2005-11-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

i just wrecked my wardrobeand i feel like screaming the whole world upside down!CLOTHESCLOTHES.that's for being a materialistic teenagerwith a million and one things on her wishlistsomehow when i look into my wardrobe all i see isblack white brown and blueis it just me or does my wardrobe suck?eeey.i need to shop!gosh.oh yes. i am now outta a job ): just as well. haha. more school stuff + stuff

2005-11-12T22:23:00.000+08:00

i declare today my eat-junk-food day!yay! i love sheng siong!and all the wantwant and seaweed and random stuffchocs!by the way. my aussie chocs are still around!my entire family is on a choc rationing system so as to make my chocs last longerleadership campCOOL! i love it. and i love height elements now!THANKS to the facils and groupmates! for being around and for your lame jokes and funny

2005-11-06T09:48:00.000+08:00

if this is a trialit's too hard, tootoughi can't do it alonebecause i aint thatstronghow would you understandhow it feels liketo struggle through foryearsyet, i may cry, whine and bitchbut i will not quiti am not giving up.

2005-11-01T18:34:00.000+08:00

crashandburnfine.everything's just a fiasco.i hate this.living each day putting on an acti hate it i hate it i hate itbecause i am weakbecause i cant live up to expectationsbecause miracles dont happen anymorewhen all i wanna do after school is just to run home to crydont know how much longer i can hold this down.dont know why i do what i dowhen i comfort othersdespite the irony that i'm the

2005-10-30T14:44:00.000+08:00

IHL reminds me of the UN somehow. heee!swingswing! THE swing team!yay we rock =)from sunny arabs to bimbos to DAS!and yea acjc won RC-IHL.just a random thoughti somehow wonder if i've been selfishin trying to keep my eye on the prizeyes i'm getting shit scaredas 2006 draws near.

2005-10-24T20:50:00.000+08:00

bon jovi-ing i s freaking therapeutic!(i dont give two hoots about however you might spell that word)back from australia!eois are over!finally <333i must say australia was pretty fun =)yay CmPS!scrrrew the eois.it's a funny thingwhat the emotions the end might bring;from ups and downs topainstakingly lowand what 'mazing worksthe angst can doit's now or neveryou aint going to live forever}too

2005-10-10T16:25:00.000+08:00

a horrible daythey built everything in the school;except a room for you to cry/scream inwell. let's check out the alternatives:1. the toilet. not the best place you wanna be when you're sad2. counsellor's room. eeek.3. some dusty corner. yuckand throughout the day all i wanted to do was to go into hysterics and call someone upi cant stand it. it's never fair.fcuk.and no it doesnt help when ______

2005-10-09T16:03:00.000+08:00

saturday 081005a memorable dayi spent the morning with the CMPS people! edit edit cut cut colour-change paste.gone in 2 days.i guess we've all worked hard and stuff, so just take it easy and have fun =)ms tay's chem tuition is highly amusing. whee!church at nightChurch of Our Saviour! was kinda nervous/petrified at first but i guess when praise/worship started stuff were fine. yes. and i'm really

2005-09-25T20:27:00.000+08:00

250905i am reluctant to post this! i want to keep my previous posts!dep's officially over.(that sounded as if someone just died)anyway. i'll miss the deppers!and yes the one who's going to Florida.till nov/the lunch then!dedication service on friday.yes it brought me another step closer to God again."Would you love Jesus more?"that's a hard one i must say. especially when we're in a fast-paced

2005-09-17T23:04:00.000+08:00

post depthis post is dedicated to deppers! (whether or not you read it)thank you for making the (few) dep sessions/post dep so enjoyable and memorable =)rach, fahd, auyong, david, aaron, paul, darius, john, bryan!Guess what?today i saw a plaque at Tangs that was laid on my birthday!and beneath the words, it said "To God be the glory"so, i guess that's part of what God's trying to tell me =)

2005-09-14T15:41:00.000+08:00

physics is over! i(we) survived the test!so much for trying to wake up at 3.30 to study x)debates wise things are okayish. david pflug is now our new coach!AND HE LOOKS A LOT LIKE JON P.that, trust me, is still an understatement.which. i still cant believe we have a coach!and yes like jing said. it is a blessing <333euthanasia motions seriously suck >< all the arguments just go round and round.

2005-09-08T22:22:00.000+08:00

lastwednesdayteachers' day! jolyn and i gave random gifts to the teachers =) and yes went out with the LSL people afterwards. guess who we saw? mokky! like after so many years and what not.sundayaaron m's book launch rocked. never understood how people could actually translate such human emotions into words. and. acsian theatre rocked! yup. hung out with couple of debaters. though we kinda ended

2005-08-21T21:07:00.000+08:00

i went to church! it was cool. especially since i havent been to church for eons. jolyn's church is kinda small and cosy-ish and yup. it's quite different from like city harvest...the whole ambience was different. might consider going back =)it's such a struggle, trying to fit in and stuff. what the hell. it's really really hard. and yes it becomes worst when u think about it. i don't know.

2005-08-21T00:10:00.000+08:00

i am going to church tml! hope it all turns out well. thanks jolyn =)today's been cool and emotional-ish.just realised that i'm kinda more sane and quieter lately. good/bad thing?dep was ok-ish. today's session was really funny! =) lot's things to learn and change >

2005-08-17T18:27:00.000+08:00

it's been crazy!chinese pt is finally done! yay. after days of agonizing over it and sleep deprivation and terribly splitting headaches and screwing sharyn's comp (s), we survived! wheee. we rock, team. and. i decided that laoshi is a nice man and therefore i shall do my jian baos and hand them in.yupyup. there's congress focus groups tml! pray that it goes well...like we'll have enough people to

2005-08-14T13:21:00.000+08:00

dep yesterday.cool, there were lots to learn and correct.first, we had this 15 min prep thingo and then debated in like the conventional style...and after a whole lecture about legitimacy, we had another 15 min prep but yes the british parliamentry style. eek. it was okay-ish just that the session wasn't too fun and spunky ): oh well. it's only the first session kylie.and yea. guess i am still

2005-08-05T21:44:00.000+08:00

ok fine.i am afraid of going to church. like how i won't fit in 'course everyone knows everyone else blah blah blah. and how i have to go through the whole thing about meeting new people again. i don't know. and wondering whether i will get home in time to do the million and one things i have to do. becoming such a hermit these days.i'm a hermit girl in a hermit world.

2005-08-05T19:30:00.000+08:00

FAT.fatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatplain jane.

2005-08-04T21:18:00.000+08:00

me ish bored. and i'm going to write a letter to my imaginary penpal.hey ______!how're you? (i know you're fine, just wanted to re-affirm that). i'm fine too (what a lie! hee). i'm your new pen pal, but you probably won't be receiving subsequent letters from me so do take very good care of this letter. what happened to your old pen pal anyway? (it's ok, there's no need to spill the gory details).

2005-08-03T21:58:00.000+08:00

a quick updatethe week's been fine lately =) all sunshine and no rain!especially when you get to torment jolynjust had debate elections todayFoP on sunday! <333thish ish a rip off but yesh. me ish bored.ten things you should know about me1. i m a selfish cow2. i debate!3. i am fat ><4. me loves milk5. <33 SMURFS! and simpsons. and spongebob (although ruiling insists i look like him)6. 170206! any

2005-07-26T20:21:00.000+08:00

can't quite remember when this blog started out; must have been in 03.oh well. it's been a long way, tracking all my weirdy emotional changes.blah.i went to get new specs today. they were freaking ex. even MORE ex than the other one. goshi guess, i just don't quite know what's the matter these days;just do work, watch tv, blog, sleepdon't really feel like eating much these days. so much for

2005-07-24T18:38:00.000+08:00

hcs 05guess we had fun and learnt loadsso yea, the outcome didn't really matterat least not THAT much =)i finished my 2nd debate notebook!need to go get a new one x)but yea. a strong team is what counts hmm?yes we need a coach! >

2005-07-20T20:39:00.000+08:00

don't ask me why i'm blogging two days before hcs.rebuttal sheets are repulsiveindia is NOT incredibleand africa is simply hopeless.i'm just really afraidafraid of failure; afraid of lossknowing how much hcs mean to me.yeah.really really really afraid.

2005-07-17T22:07:00.000+08:00

why bother.i guess sometimeslike what ms chionh says, people wear masks to hide their weaknesses and emotionsin this competitive environment.you have no idea how true that is.and sometimesi guess i act nonchalant/coldto keep you out of my world?i don't know.whatever.terrible. sounding so depressed.ok. time to relate to something not so depressing!matt is the worst tennis opponent u can ever gethe

2005-07-14T19:42:00.000+08:00

ran·dom adj.Having no specific pattern, purpose, or objective: random movements.it's only when i pray or speak to Godcan i be truly frank with myself and Himwhen i cry at freewillthat now i knowi WANT to love Him moreto know Him.ok i need to go to church.all i can askis for You to lead meand to bless me and my loved ones.-"that sometimes i was selfish and paranoidin thinking that others were

2005-07-01T15:19:00.000+08:00

i am truly upset.and stressed. which is why im taking things uber seriously.the image of the expressions on my snrs' faces on jgs round 3 haunts me.i'll NEVER forget that moment.how they prob think im some kind of lowlife.plus. i hate mr j.choosing candidates for the quiz in the dark without a known basis of selectionthat i AM interested in going for the quiz.has it ever occured to him that im

2005-06-30T19:23:00.000+08:00

sometimes i give up on blogging/journalling.no amount of words and language can ever express emotions.i despise my ineloquence.wrong.i cant stand ___.at times when i do prayi wonder what there is to thank God for.i mean, when i'm rational and not-so-hysterical yes i thank Him for my existencewhat about my imperfection?the fact that i'm absolutely helpless when i see others sufferingloved ones,

2005-06-24T22:22:00.000+08:00

just a selfish hag.

2005-06-22T23:09:00.000+08:00

cranky shit.just realised what an unfaithful Christian i amswearinglyingevil thoughtsdrinking.matt smokes. i don't know. shit.found a pack of cigarettes in his drawer.it's not like it surprises me.yuck. ken, go talk to him.am having anger management issues these daysdont. piss. me. off.AND.i decided that i never really liked debate camps after all.or whatever.

2005-06-21T23:35:00.000+08:00

backfrom china/bangkok.pretty much alright, just that people were grumpy and whiny on the tourAND. everyone smoked. which means i m prolly going to die of lung cancer 20+ years down the road.but i guess a trip overseas shows you the culture/reality of the world at largeespecially the poorok enough said.time for some shuteye.

2005-06-02T10:16:00.000+08:00

not all that glitters, goldtime to say goodbye.perhaps i wasnt good enoughperhaps the results were pre determinedperhapswhat the fuck.edit//set a bonfire and melt the goldalivewhy do i even bother,i wonderpretending i was strongpretending i could make itmemories to be shut awayengulfed by time and spaceedited//losing self-restraintwhat no one hearsthe fall of a teardropone daywhen i emergethin

2005-05-29T18:22:00.000+08:00

skin on skincome mother o' pearlbreak upon the greybright neon lightsflashingwaitingbutton-push-rejectthe girl in the picturepacked away to neverneverland.on second thoughts, maybe it wasnt such a bad thing i fucked up my results.at least hopefully. i will stop this icantcareless attitude.dep. awkward. fullstop.been in a horrible mood. not the best way to start the hols yesstill this void; this

2005-05-22T23:02:00.000+08:00

edit: if i don't stop puking soon my parents will freak and rush me to the hospital. parfait! no school on tues.chest painsis this what they call a heart-ache?it really hurtsand i am feeling puk-ishplease God,don't let me die in my sleepdep yes i got in.no i don't really know if i m happy about itthat it'll be another struggle altogetherstruggle to fit in, struggle to excelc'est tout.sorry i

2005-05-17T23:12:00.000+08:00

interviews were just shit. absolutely.been getting back papers.quite grossed out.my gpa oh my gpawhich means.that i m going to be mugging away during the hols. period.and yes bringing my textbooks to china.it's just this sense of imperfectionlike how nothing's going right?where is my path leading me?

2005-05-11T22:24:00.000+08:00

will reply the tags l-a-t-e-r.2.4 run really sucks. big time.on a different note, dep interviews are this suni can like visualize all the worst-case scenarios that might happengoshand psb. i sigh. what's there to say really?many things to buyyea and you need the greenbucks to buy themshall work on my walk with Himbeen neglecting my prayers these few days sadlymaybe that's why my 2.4 was bad ):

2005-05-06T15:58:00.000+08:00

rainy fridaystaring at the flower michtan gave me (:yay.flower power!the debate today wasnt that bad after all(thank God, and i mean it)at least we didn't get thrashed that badly by hcjcand yes (: at least we had supportive classmates!(who were really tickled)ladies and gentlemen!guess it's time to let loose.to let go?yea. and hope things turn out fine (:what goes round must come roundwhat goes

2005-04-28T22:15:00.000+08:00

words.is it always that much easierto spill your heart out inangst-filled poetry?is it always necessary betterto pour your troubles outto someone else?are words really what they meando YOU mean what you say?"takecare/godbless/love you/friends always/stay in touch"sometimesit's just so much easiernot to speak.

2005-04-25T22:42:00.000+08:00

there was just something about todaysomething that reminded me ofthe day debbie diedthe day i fell and had to get stitchessomething gray something gloomyit's my mother's birthdayi get home late and the house was empty.

2005-04-20T23:55:00.000+08:00

state of unfeelingnumbnessdon't really know what's up these daysjust been drifting alongblindly, aimlesslyuntil i dont knowthe june hols maybe?just that at timesemotion overwhelms me, reallyi don't know.i guess that's my answer to most things these days.is this how it's all meant to be?dep.i really don't know what to do with it now.perhaps.it isn't what it seemed.i didn't really expect answers

2005-04-11T23:44:00.000+08:00

it was just a dream, and nothing moreistana parkeast coastbike ridingbridgetrishawaustralialet it go

2005-04-08T18:43:00.000+08:00

in that split secondeverything clears upi grew upi learnt to let gosaw it allas cliched as it sounds,its truei am ready to move onto start a new phase of lifewith Youto do things that I was afraid toto wait for You to fill this emptinessand right the wrongsto discover my purposethough I knowthe past/present will hurtyeti wont forgetthe pain, the laughterthe madness (rugby!)the friendshipsthe

2005-04-02T11:21:00.000+08:00

would you want me to?seeing their facestheir reactions at the realisationof the thirdcould only echohow much i didn't want ithow much it troubled mebut yesi am glad i did my bestmy team did their bestyet debates isn't everythinglook beyondwatch the human dramasee the friendships you could never havehow minute you arei am the unloved

2005-03-21T23:13:00.000+08:00

i dont want the world to see mefor i dont think that they'd understandplant your little dreams elsewheresick of life's lemonstired of waiting for hopewaiting for peoplealways waiting.waiting for messages that will never be repliedphone calls that won't get throughgiven up on miraclesprayers and thoughts that never seem to workthrash it allzilch

2005-03-07T22:01:00.000+08:00

lost in realitywithout hope, faithdreams, friendshipand emotions.fly me awayto a land wherethere is no afflictionno suffering, no painlet me go.

2005-02-27T00:06:00.000+08:00

black fridaytainted visionof my worldcynic, melancholypride, hopeafraid to look intothe mirrorafraid of who i amwho am i really?

2005-02-20T20:06:00.000+08:00

i forgot how to love and laughi forgot how it felt like to run freei forgot how it felt to have a friend by mei forgot how it felt to wake up refreshed with my Biblei forgot how to trustthanks for the birthdaythough it was just an ordinary dayohana means family;and family means no one gets left behindor forgottendoes God then remember me and those in distress?i grew uptoo quickly

2005-02-17T22:21:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to kylie.

2005-02-15T22:40:00.000+08:00

would you remember meshould i not be here one day?was i a friend to youlike you were a friend to me?did i have enough friendsor did i just let them fade away?

2005-02-13T18:35:00.000+08:00

fill this emptiness up deep inside medont know what's wrongdont wanna knowdont need to knowdont carepatch this void up

2005-02-07T22:44:00.000+08:00

vcs 05 was such a blast! yay. i now love racist oreos and beheading images and definition challenge! rock on guys! someday. yes someday we'll break! haha. YAY. CNY is like finally here! which also means that my burfdae is round the corner *hint hint* and invest today! oh goodness. it was so cool! i absolutely love my formal U! and not forgetting my court shoes! right jess and xinning? (: and i

2005-02-04T19:50:00.000+08:00

all choked up deep down inside terribly missing so many people tonight mich, yong, kenny, nic, the list goes on just wanna tell y'all out there that no matter how tough things may get no matter how upset u'll be i'll be right here for you i'll be here to lend u a helping hand or a shoulder even dear Father i thank you with all that You've given unto me for feeding me and clothing me for always

2005-01-29T21:52:00.000+08:00

jgs round 1! seeing u all again! yay. too touched for words. go team 2! and for team 1...u guys did a really great job (: really dont know wad to say. and vcs team. speechless. i still feel so selfish how i've been bitching about my world too myopic to see the rest of YOU. it will hurt and i will remember it but i will get out of this i will put in that extra effort to bond with my batchmates i

2005-01-27T23:09:00.000+08:00

thanks everyone! esp to steph mich aj [alexandra josephine (:] reuben jared sam josh ngeeyong jing joey nard huiyi lifeng jay and many many more thanks so much for ur comfort and friendship i m sorry i got caught up in my selfish wants and yes. debates is a team thing who will they rmb? rg debates or that speaker? rg debates of course i m so glad i m here in rg debates with all of you and i m so

2005-01-24T21:29:00.000+08:00

luck for JGs everyone. enough said it's all over now shatter lost gone my dreams crashed u noe how much i wanted to be part of JGs 05 and VCS 05 and no matter how hard i try how brilliant i speak how much i give it's not going to matter it's not going to make a difference or am i just being selfish? i noe fully how lousy i am compared to my batchmates and no matter how hard i try there'll always

2005-01-23T23:07:00.000+08:00

and i will wait patiently for my purple candy floss. 170205 isnt a very long time away pple! *hint hint* muahahahahhaa. oh sheesh. so many things to blog about SRs was hilarious! HAHAHAHA. esp nj guy and shang! ((((: and anyway. i cant believe we havent started prep. AND. this is so unfair, God! VERY. WHATEVER KYLIE. wad with a whole stash of homework and stuff to deal with yes, STUFF. p.s. if

2005-01-16T19:36:00.000+08:00

OBS rocks! and i m changed forever! i know i m capable of so much more i know i can give so much more so much more to learn and love thanks louis and BO SENG and KURT! it doesnt bother me now that i might not speak at JGs i shall just pray and hope for the best for if God is willing then yea right now it's PSB and oneohnine! LOVE YOU ALL. *hugs everyone!* see you at SRs!

2005-01-09T19:51:00.000+08:00

BOO EVERYONE! yes yes i m enjoying school! I LOVE ORIENTATION'05! i love you one oh nine! and bern and shu han and li ju and germz and liu yi and juliet AND VIVIEN! YAY. 109 you rock my socks! we're so proud of you for coming in second (((: ok. enough said. hi everyone (((: back to watching tv and packing for obs dont miss me too much awwwww love you all!

2005-01-04T16:33:00.000+08:00

school has started! (i) my class is...quite ok. i will try to live with it (ii) psb. maybe i shall just not continue next year. trust the Lord to fix things right. it IS terrible to have 2 leaders in a team. i am not too happy with certain people but i will just attempt to make the most out of this year. and yea. some sec ones can be overly inquisitive and bossy-ish. (iii) obs. i sigh. (iv) we

2005-01-01T20:11:00.000+08:00

the last few days of the year or before school starts can do a lot to a person it can silence you make you serious self reflective or it can break you up. i admit it as calm/looney as i seem i've reached breaking point i've come back to the crossroads where nothing seems right and i feel like breaking down all the time please dun believe in appearances they can be really hard to upkeep sometimes

2004-12-29T23:42:00.000+08:00

i've got so much to say to you him her it i've got my heart full of love. to 213'04 thanks so much to everyone of you thanks for the memorable sec 2 year the memories the laughter the friendship i have so much to tell you guys each and everyone of you i really really really treasure you guys thank you for stepping into my life thank you for making a difference in it I LOVE YOU GUYS so here's

2004-12-24T22:14:00.000+08:00

merry xmas! esp to u booth peeps (boo pei en!), to dad, mum, eugene, kris, chris to leo, vince, alison, kevin (for the partay!) to mich, chere, steph, shiyun to eli, huiyi, jing!, lifeng, xinwei, diane, nick to joey, nard, nic, alison, aj, michelle to shuning, nicolalalala, queen, piggy to wabbit, jia, tingwen, pokk, sam, ju to licia, vera, shauna, rwee, shumin to simran, becky, angel, yinglin,

2004-12-21T11:55:00.000+08:00

what wistful thinking how tormentous it is to have anger and jealousy boiling up in the depths of myself tired, drain exhausted i guess that's why people give up that's why they dont trust God anymore that's why they cant hold on when that little something called faith runs low is it wrong to ask for a little more friendship a little more courage to brave the storms? is it wrong to show who you

2004-12-17T22:40:00.000+08:00

broken into a million pieces how do you patch her up? from now on i m keeping my distance with the d* circuit i shall stay away from them for as far as i can for as long as i can running away huh? but that's wad escapism is all about. and sometimes when u look from the outside in speculating u see things u didnt ever expect to who am i kidding? is this how it's all meant to be. oh Lord. help

2004-12-15T23:35:00.000+08:00

i MUST clear up my room. i m NOT spending christmas in a room where u see piles and piles aof junk EVERYWHERE and a bed splattered with nonsense. christmas this year IS sad! i m going to be away! no more leo, alison, kevin no more peeking away at botannica gardens! sigh. lotsa things to buy. spar tml. i hate spars now. i get all jumpy GRRR. AND. i realised my blog is so angsty! teenager-y!

2004-12-14T21:30:00.000+08:00

I LOVE MY HAIR! it's so smurf! XD i love it i love it i love as chere would say i m happy happy high high! and therefore. shall not bother about weird things. thish ish bad. i m just super hooked on bridge card games minesweeper! oh save me. oh yea. the incredibles were...GOOOOOOT. I LOVE THEM! esp jack jack! and edna mole! milan, darling, milan! honey! where's my super suit!

2004-12-10T21:43:00.000+08:00

I AM A SMURF! THE smurf. yay. lalalalalalala. i want to train debate everyday now everyday sunday also can. (the huge thunder just gave me a great shock!) i m going off cuz there might be a short circuit!

2004-12-09T22:56:00.000+08:00

debate trng today! style and rebuttal trng! absolutely fun. esp style trng THW rather eat trees than grass :P 3 hours of debate 5 hours of bridge getting chase out of lido for playing bridge silly security guard (it was traumatizing ok) chere my silly partner (((((: (actually. it's me chere's silly partner) me the smurf mich the squish eli the blur michelle the brainy and istana park the wondrous